Category: Joke Board
Riddle: what gets long when u jerk it, fits between boobs, slides in a hole, and loves to be pulled? A SEAT BELT U PERVERT!!!
What's long hard and full of seamen?
A submarine you sick little monkey.
What's hard enters what's bland, and as a result the balls hang.
Earrings.
First it lies in bed, then it stands in bed.
It's white, then red.
The bigger it gets, the better it's liked.
A strawberry
Bring it on. More?
Laughing.
The seatbelt doesn't go between the breasts, ha ha!.
Adjust yours sweetheart. Laughing.
lol at these
okay I have 1... what goes up and never comes down?
(this one isn't dirty, i'll leave it up for you all to guess)
To The poster before me, Inflation or rent? My 2 guesses.
What goes up but never comes down? Easy, your age.
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You walk into a room with a rabbit holding a carrot, a pig eating slop, and a chimp holding a banana. Which animal in the room is the smartest?
You, hopefully.
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Which is correct to say? “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?
Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow.
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The man who made it doesn’t want it. The man who bought it doesn’t need it. The man who needs it doesn’t know it. What am I talking about?
A coffin, of course.
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Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it, you’ll die. What is it?
Nothing.
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What building has the most stories?
A library.
Keep em coming.
Laughing.
lol yes, your age!.
what's the last thing you take off before you go to bed?
your legs (off the ground)
tuesday, simon peter and brian all went out for a meal.
at the end of the night, neither simon peter or brian payed the bill. who payed?
answer: tuesday. I never said on tuesday.
what can you break without holding it?
answer: a promise
the smith family live in a circular house
1 day, mr smith wakes up to find jam all over the living room floor. he asumes that everyone had jam sandwiches that day
using the statements below, can you figure out who spilled the jam on the carpet?
billy smith: I was out playing football
mrs smith: I was in the kitchen reading my mail
cook: I was preparing lunch
maid: I was cleaning the corners of the house
answer: the maid spilled the jam, and is lying in what she says- because a circular house has no corners
a man is on a ladder working on a 5 story apartment complex
he falls off the ladder, but never hurts himself. why?
answer: because he only falls off the second step of the ladder. no where does it say how high up he was working.
a woman shoots her husband, holds his head under the water, then walks away. 2 hours later, they go out for a lovely meal together.
how can this be?
answer: the woman was taking the husband's photo
john rode in to town on friday.
he stayed for 3 days, then left on friday
how could this be?
friday was the name of his horse
what word has the most letters?
answer: a post office
Good, really good.
Laughing.
Anyone else?